SO basically I'm completely stressed/miserable/pissed off/somewhat depressed right now. Super unfun. Why, you ask? Well.
For music, I have to perform a song I wrote. And I have to sing. And if you've ever heard me sing you would know that's a very very bad idea. And I also have barely finished writing the melody for the verse and chorus and I have to perform in like a week and aaaahhhsdfghjkl D:

Also I've been missing my friends in Jakarta a lot recently. There I made like a ton of friends in the first few weeks, now it's been like 2-3 months and I have like 3 people I can hang out with. Maybe because there are 60 people in the whole grade as opposed to 200 in Jakarta, maybe because they're a mostly homogeneous (haha big word ) group of spoiled rich bitches, maybe because the school is a hell of a lot less international than JIS. I dunno. :kataki-sama:, :freezeframer:, and everyone else there are pretty much the awesomest damn people I know, and completely accepting of pretty much anyone, and here I've found 2, possibly 3 people like that. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of fun with them and all, but it's just not the same, you know?

And I'm pissed off mostly because it's SO FUCKING COLD HERE. DD: I DO NOT LIEK ZE COLD. and as I have been living in the tropics/subtropics for the last 5 years the only warm clothes I have are my mom's sweaters and this random scarf my cousin's aunt gave me and this sparkly glove/hat set I got at the flea market for 3 CHF. (like around US$3/30,000 Rp) And none of them match AT ALL. Luckily I'm buying some warm clothes tomorrow. But still, I don't really like wearing a coat and scarf while eating D:

And and also there are like NO guys at this school. I mean yeah there are guys, duh, but not any guys of interest, you know? xD It's kinda pathetic. All the cute ones are either complete dumbasses or a foot shorter than me. Wth. Of course there are completely hot guys in the IB grades, but they're all 3 or 4 years older than me. (although my friend's bf is 17... haha)

Okay, does this just happen to me? These random moments, usually while I'm tired, where I just feel completely depressed, it's kind of a mix between guilt, self-pity, worry about nothing in particular and complete worthlessness. It usually happens just for a few minutes at a time but it just feels really horrible. I'm pretty sure it's not PMS, it happens all the time, but I don't know if this is just me being bipolar or if it happens to everyone... Whatever it is I hate it.

Woo negative rant. On the positive side of life it's my birthday in exactly a week Nov. 13. (haha holy shit its on Friday the 13th.. LOL) and I'm probably getting an iPhone (yay!!). And also at the moment the cold is completely pointless but in the actual winter there will be SNOW YAY SNOW <33 and skiing. Or snowboarding, whichever I decide to do. I still haven't made up my mind about that. And I have a band D I play the drums and we have me and a piano player (forgot the technical word for that) and a guitarist/singer and we're playing Somewhere Only We Know by Keane. And maybe Chasing Cars and Miserable At Best and some random Yellowcard and Jamestown Story songs yayy us.

<3 you all,
Darkness-Flower